maybe i sent the text just wanting you to know how much i appreciate you, though it's no longer my place to appreciate you. maybe i sent it to remind me. you called and wanted to know these things. why why why? in the end, i'm glad that you're happy and healthy. it is crazy living life and having to accept that everything is just as it should be, when the way it is sucks. every time i open that door, it is slammed in my face. every time it is slammed, I am reminded of how you let me open it and not have to bother to lock it. I am reminded of everything you chose to not make an issue, because that was all stuff that was just me, and it was ok to be just me.
now i meet others. they are much like you, circumstantially. but that is all. guarded, quick to judgement, eager to flee, so scared to take a step, so unable to let my past be my past. i'm still me. i'm too honest, so impulsive, so obsessive...but without anger. without the need to destroy a castle with my bare hands. and perhaps it's not a castle, but more a straw hut, as it would seem a castle would be so much more difficult to demolish.
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